Prayer for knowledge

Lord Jesus,

Do a mighty work within me.  I admit that I don't usually pray about exercise on this blog, but I have to.  The truth is, I don't exercise and I hate to.  Help me to overcome putting things off.  I know that I have more than 100 pounds to lose.  I also know that I am finally motivated.  I also know that I wouldn't or don't know what exercises to do.  I don't even know what equipment to use.  I am inspired but that is all.  That is the problem. My heart is in it but what do I do with that heart?  Help me, Lord.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Exercise prayer

Dear Lord,

I don't usually write prayers concerning this issue.  I need to make it clear however that I am afraid to fail.  I am afraid to continue to be a perfectionist when it comes to this issue.  I have not been made perfect.  My desire is to exercise and continue to do so.  I want to make exercise a habit.  I want to just go out there and exercise.  I don't want to continue to be inspired.  I often see exercise as a chore.  A chore is not fun and needs to be done.  A chore is work.  A chore can seem like a drudgery.  That deep down is how I feel about exercise.  I don't love to exercise but I want to.  I need to know if I can exercise and get used to it for a long time.  I find myself writing and thus procrastinating or making excuses as to why.  My fear is that I will never lose weight.  I am putting things off; I will lose weight eventually.  Fear stems from impatience.  I want to lose weight fast.  That is the problem.  I want to lose those 2 pounds per week but even that requires hard work.  Help me to do what is hard.  Help me to lose weight.  Give me the wisdom and guidance that I so need.  Thank You for Your love, forgiveness, and answer to my prayer.

In Jesus' name,


Amen

Finding a balance with exercise.

I agree. I will no longer give up.  I guess with exercise, hormones need to be balanced.  It seems silly what I have just said.  However, exercise has its benefits of which I have expected.  Maybe that is the reason why I have been having issues as of late.

Giving up

I will no longer give up.

No entry.

No entry.

Will I?

I have become too frustrated.  Maybe this is the time when starting an exercise program becomes easier.  Or maybe not.  Either way, I now wonder what I am waiting for.

Re-post of I don't exercise

I don't exercise Monday through Sunday.  In short, I don't exercise at all. I could give excuses as to why I don't exercise.  Would it do me any good if I would buy equipment that I don't use?  My only interest is not walking but in using equipment.  It gives me something to do and it gives me the opportunity to tone up.  I looked at my shadow this morning. All I could see is that my body is not toned.  Exercise is fundamental.  Why cannot find exercise interesting as I am supposed to find an interest.?  I wish that exercise wouldn't be such a chore.  I need to lose weight. I know this.  No one has to tell me, so why do I have desire to lose weight?  I know something is wrong and maybe that is the problem.

Re-post of doing some more thinking outside the box

Think outside the box some more
It was a time to think outside the box.  There is a fear, doubt, and apprehension there when it comes to exercise.  I have underlying issues which would cause me to have those fears, doubts, and of course, apprehensions.  I had to make decisions and be realistic about exercise and why I have been procrastinating. I have been told that I have to eat healthy in order for the exercise to work.  How can exercise be effective when I have admittedly have a such a poor diet?  In that area, would exercise do me any good?  I don't want to use that as an excuse to not exercise, but I wonder if that is the case.  I need to make a decision to limit or cut out processed foods, which has been quite difficult to do.  Processed foods are everywhere.  Where can I begin?  In fact, where can I begin in terms of exercise?  I have some decisions to make as my health and well-being depend on realistic goals such as my interests and my dietary goals.  I realize that the solution is to work on the fears, apprehension, and doubts.

No entry.

No entry.

Yep.

It's time.

Today's reflection

Right now I can say that exercise has done me some good.  However, it has been hard to move since I have been having aches and pains for a number of days now.  All I know is that I hope that I will be okay.

Think outside the box some more

It was a time to think outside the box.  There is a fear, doubt, and apprehension there when it comes to exercise.  I have underlying issues which would cause me to have those fears, doubts, and of course, apprehensions.  I had to make decisions and be realistic about exercise and why I have been procrastinating. I have been told that I have to eat healthy in order for the exercise to work.  How can exercise be effective when I have admittedly have a such a poor diet?  In that area, would exercise do me any good?  I don't want to use that as an excuse to not exercise, but I wonder if that is the case.  I need to make a decision to limit or cut out processed foods, which has been quite difficult to do.  Processed foods are everywhere.  Where can I begin?  In fact, where can I begin in terms of exercise?  I have some decisions to make as my health and well-being depend on realistic goals such as my interests and my dietary goals.  I realize that the solution is to work on the fears, apprehension, and doubts.

How I am feeling at the moment

I am not going to lie.  I don't exercise.  I hate exercise.  I procrastinate.  I am not lying.  Exercise is something that I skirt around.  I wish I didn't do that but I do.  I need help.  I realize that I need to lose weight.  I want to lose weight.  I desire to lose weight.  I need to exercise.  I want to exercise.  I desire to exercise.  Maybe that is the problem.  I need help and the will to be proactive.  That is where going outside the box comes in.

Sunday Outline

      Stretches
                          10 minutes (5 before exercise and 5 after exercise)
                          Days to stretch: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturday
                                   10-20 minute stretches for neck and back
                                   Days to stretch: Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays
                 Strength Training
                           Dumbbells
                                   10-15 repetitions per arm
                                   Days to use dumbbells: Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays
                          Resistance Bands
                                   20 repetitions per arm
                                   10 repetitions per leg
                                   Days to use resistance bands: Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays
                           Body weight
                                    Crunches
                                      10 repetitions
                                      Days of the week: Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays
                                    Push ups
                                      10  repetitions
                                      Days of the week:  Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays

Saturday Outline

   Exercise
       Listening to music
            Perks me up in the morning
            Party in the brain while putting me to sleep at night
         Exercise regimen
            Types of exercise
             Cardiovascular
                  Walking
                         20-30 minutes 4 days per week
                         Days to exercise: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
                    Steps
                          20 repetitions per leg
                          Days to exercise: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
                    Lunges
                          15 repetitions
                          Days to exercise: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
                    Squats
                           15 repetitions
                            Days to exercise: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
                    Stretches
                          10 minutes (5 before exercise and 5 after exercise)
                          Days to stretch: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturday

Exercise outline

I am creating an outline that will illustrate how I would think outside the box.  That has been difficult to do all week.  Going outside the box requires not only creativity but about being realistic.  Here is an outline to illustrate my version of going outside the box.

Issue
   Exercise
       Listening to music
            Perks me up in the morning
            Party in the brain while putting me to sleep at night
         Exercise regimen
            Types of exercise
             Cardiovascular
                  Walking
                         20-30 minutes 4 days per week
                         Days to exercise: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
                    Steps
                          20 repetitions per leg
                          Days to exercise: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
                    Lunges
                          15 repetitions
                          Days to exercise: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
                    Squats
                           15 repetitions
                            Days to exercise: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
                    Stretches
                          10 minutes (5 before exercise and 5 after exercise)
                          Days to stretch: Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturday
                                   10-20 minute stretches for neck and back
                                   Days to stretch: Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays
                 Strength Training
                           Dumbbells
                                   10-15 repetitions per arm
                                   Days to use dumbbells: Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays
                          Resistance Bands
                                   20 repetitions per arm
                                   10 repetitions per leg
                                   Days to use resistance bands: Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays
                           Body weight
                                    Crunches
                                      10 repetitions
                                      Days of the week: Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays
                                    Push ups
                                      10  repetitions
                                      Days of the week:  Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays

It is time to really go out and do something.

This is more or less a continuation of yesterday's blog posting.  I realize that going outside the box for anything is not easy.  What is the purpose of exercise?  Why do I want to exercise?  How beneficial would it be?  Do I go find an interest, even one that would be right under my nose?  What expectations would I have about myself?  I just have so many questions to ask.  Maybe that is what it means to think outside the box. That is what I wished I had done all along.

Thinking outside the exercise box

I don't have a regimen.  This is due to the fact that I am someone who hadn't followed her past goals.  I have no interest in exercise because of those lack of goals.  However, I know that I need to lose weight.  I wish I could think outside the box.  I even found myself renewed and refreshed once I started to wake up earlier this morning.  Listening to music has done me some good.  Now if only I can find an interest.

I don't exercise

Tuesday is a day when I don't exercise.  Sadly, I need to change that.  I don't exercise Monday through Sunday.  In short, I don't exercise at all. I could give excuses as to why I don't exercise.  Would it do me any good if I would buy equipment that I don't use?  My only interest is not walking but in using equipment.  It gives me something to do and it gives me the opportunity to tone up.  I looked at my shadow this morning. All I could see is that my body is not toned.  Exercise is fundamental.  Why cannot find exercise interesting as I am supposed to find an interest.?  I wish that exercise wouldn't be such a chore.  I need to lose weight. I know this.  No one has to tell me, so why do I have desire to lose weight?  I know something is wrong and maybe that is the problem.

Help me

I cannot take my life as it is.  I was going crazy.  I need a motivation to exercise.  I want to, but I won't at the same time.  What is wrong with me?

Why? What is it that I need to change?

Reality has also hit me when it comes to exercise today.  I have no real desire to lose weight.  I went to the doctor Wednesday and she stressed or rather recommended exercise.  I have not been exercising lately because something is wrong with me.  I had this issue before despite my health issues and everything associated with losing weight.  The truth is, despite the fact that I have every reason that I need to exercise.  I have no desire to do so.  I realize that I am not doing something right.  What is really wrong with me?

Embracing who I am as a fat person.

As I mentioned in yesterday's reflection, reality has hit me.  I weigh over 300 pounds.  I can embrace the fact that I am obese as I am only about 5'1".  However, I am not healthy and that there are cons as well to be overweight.  It is not the worst thing in the world.  Being unrepentant of one's sins is much much worse. Being fat is a part of who I am.  I live in a society where fat equals bad.  To many, I am lazy, unattractive, and disgusting to look at.  I am the before picture who is lacking in self-esteem.  I am an object of laughter and ridicule.  I realize that are those who adhere to these judgments ever walked a mile in a fat person's shoes.  Are or were they ever fat?  Why do THEY seem more concerned with MY weight?  I am the person who is and should be the most concerned about my weight.  I KNOW that being fat carries a great number of health RISKS, some of which I have.  Now having said that, I have been told that I need to exercise, but I will only do this only for me and me alone.  It seems contradictory to everything I said but I am a person who thinks she isn't unattractive, lazy, disgusting, or an object of ridicule.  I do want to get healthy because of my size.  That is okay.  I have learned to embrace my size.  I am who I am.  I have embraced being 40, so why can I not embrace ALL or another part who I am?  I guess that that is what is what it takes to lose the weight and keep it off and that is MY choice and no one else's.  I just hope that I have not contradicted myself with this.

Reality has hit me.

I wonder if my exercise journal is just a way to make me look better than I do.  I want to do this, but it never comes to fruition.  The last thing I wanted to do is to put myself down, but I have.  I have just stopped taking care of myself.  I gave up on myself to the point where at 5'1", I now weigh over 300 pounds.  Weighing more than 300 pounds was a wake up call in another set of wake up calls.  The real issues are a lack of motivation, fear of failure, lack of interest, lack of equipment, and whatever exercise should I start with. Those are issues that have stressed me out and have been stressing me out lately.  I went to the doctor and she told me that while I have made some dietary changes, she recommended exercise.  For my particular apple-shaped frame, exercise would be beneficial or rather, do me some good.  But where do I begin?

Break day is today.

I took a break today.

Sunday's real workout

Picking up pets and picking up groceries are quite a workout.  My feet end up hurting and so was everything else it seems.  I felt too lazy to write anything down in this and all of my blogs yesterday.  I am usually faithful in writing my blogs but yesterday was quite lazy.  I need to write down how many calories shopping and carrying groceries are.  Despite the fact that I did not do any other exercise, yesterday was quite a workout.

Today equals yesterday

Today has been the same as yesterday.  I have to admit however, that spending time with animals in itself is quite the workout.  Right now, I am in pain because in part I had to pick one of them up.  I have a disc degenerative condition and I really have to be careful when it comes to my health.  Exercise in general will do me some good.

Short musing for today

Today I have been given advice to walk the dogs.  Rather, I have been given the advice to walk.  So far, that is what I will do.  However, I am not really interested in exercise because I have no interests.  Things don't interest me for a long time.  I don't know why, but I tend to bore easily.  That has got to change.  How do I get over being bored so easily?  That is the question that I have to answer for myself.