Embracing who I am as a fat person.

As I mentioned in yesterday's reflection, reality has hit me.  I weigh over 300 pounds.  I can embrace the fact that I am obese as I am only about 5'1".  However, I am not healthy and that there are cons as well to be overweight.  It is not the worst thing in the world.  Being unrepentant of one's sins is much much worse. Being fat is a part of who I am.  I live in a society where fat equals bad.  To many, I am lazy, unattractive, and disgusting to look at.  I am the before picture who is lacking in self-esteem.  I am an object of laughter and ridicule.  I realize that are those who adhere to these judgments ever walked a mile in a fat person's shoes.  Are or were they ever fat?  Why do THEY seem more concerned with MY weight?  I am the person who is and should be the most concerned about my weight.  I KNOW that being fat carries a great number of health RISKS, some of which I have.  Now having said that, I have been told that I need to exercise, but I will only do this only for me and me alone.  It seems contradictory to everything I said but I am a person who thinks she isn't unattractive, lazy, disgusting, or an object of ridicule.  I do want to get healthy because of my size.  That is okay.  I have learned to embrace my size.  I am who I am.  I have embraced being 40, so why can I not embrace ALL or another part who I am?  I guess that that is what is what it takes to lose the weight and keep it off and that is MY choice and no one else's.  I just hope that I have not contradicted myself with this.