Having a body issues problem

I admit that I have body image issues.  I confess that I had them all of my life.  Okay, maybe not all of my life, but what I could remember.  I was always told one thing but often believed something else.  I have tried and failed numerous times to lose weight.  It came to a head this past week when all I did was binge eat.  I have come to a truth about myself.  I admit that I have not been fully diagnosed but I have a problem with eating and it has intensified.  The reason for this intensity is being an overweight diabetic who was diagnosed with having PCOS.  There is such an urgency to want to lose weight.  I gained a large amount of weight in a short amount of time and it seemed so out of control and I realized how powerless I truly am.  I spent a lot of time asking questions about feeling guilty about not being thin enough or smart enough or pretty enough.  It is quite bad because the words beautiful, pretty, or attractive or hard for me to believe.  That is something that I have wanted to change for a long time now and it took this week to realize that I need help.  That has been one of the issues that I have dealt with for years now.  Where to begin?  Now I know where to start. Now I am at greater peace with myself. ☮