I prayed about the fact that I need some change in my life, including exercise, and diet as well. I have a couple of dumbbells that were given to me as a gift for Christmas. I am forever thankful for these dumbbells. Today I finally used those weights. Now I don't know how many calories I burned using those weights. But when I used those weights at least, I used to have thoughts that were not obsessive. I guess that it is something that is good for me. I started lifting those weights around 11:30 this morning while I was watching a movie. The movie was okay but it wasn't like the original. I felt a burn using these weights doing a few repetitions. I even thought about using them for lunges and other exercises as well. At least today,
I don't have any negative feelings about exercise. One of the major issues I have is a fear of failure. I need help in seeing that failure is a part of life, I guess. I do know that I have failed and so have most of humanity has failed or made a mistake. I am a flawed human being and I don't like to lose or fail. It is a part of the all or nothing mindset that I have. It is a trigger to what is really wrong with me when it comes to exercise.
I cannot wait for others to do the work for me. I have to do at least some of the work myself. I have been asking a series of questions about what I need to do. I need help in doing even the simplest of tasks which is a struggle. So trying to do the simplest thing, which is to stay with doing exercise, is quite hard. I have waited for others to do things for me only for me to be "rendered" powerless. I finally realize that the need to do things by myself and sometimes go at it alone can be productive but can also be counterproductive as well. I also believe that accountability while my taking action is productive.
Maybe instead of waiting, I could at least start off slow. Today I did at least 10 reps on both arms today. All I have to say is wow, those weights are not light by any stretch. I guess that I have been out of shape and 3 lbs. per weight should at least be light. Today, I am just grateful that I actually have the weights. I am also grateful that I actually did something useful, even for a minute.
I don't have any negative feelings about exercise. One of the major issues I have is a fear of failure. I need help in seeing that failure is a part of life, I guess. I do know that I have failed and so have most of humanity has failed or made a mistake. I am a flawed human being and I don't like to lose or fail. It is a part of the all or nothing mindset that I have. It is a trigger to what is really wrong with me when it comes to exercise.
I cannot wait for others to do the work for me. I have to do at least some of the work myself. I have been asking a series of questions about what I need to do. I need help in doing even the simplest of tasks which is a struggle. So trying to do the simplest thing, which is to stay with doing exercise, is quite hard. I have waited for others to do things for me only for me to be "rendered" powerless. I finally realize that the need to do things by myself and sometimes go at it alone can be productive but can also be counterproductive as well. I also believe that accountability while my taking action is productive.
Maybe instead of waiting, I could at least start off slow. Today I did at least 10 reps on both arms today. All I have to say is wow, those weights are not light by any stretch. I guess that I have been out of shape and 3 lbs. per weight should at least be light. Today, I am just grateful that I actually have the weights. I am also grateful that I actually did something useful, even for a minute.
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