I want to be fit and in shape

Spiritually I am doing better.  Mentally I am okay as well.  I have to take a break today however.  I take breaks on Sundays and Tuesday.  I am supposed to be fit and in shape by now, but there is no use crying over spilled milk.  I forgive myself and I am beginning to no longer be self-conscious. I have been self-conscious for a long time and it is not a good thing to have.  I would like to stop being self-conscious and love and respect myself.   I don't always like myself but I am looking forward to this journey and to keep the weight off.  That is my problem.  I need to lose weight, but I also need to honor, love, and respect myself and stop being so self-conscious.  I believe that a fat person can love, love, and respect myself.  Not all fat people are so self-conscious.  So God loves me for who I am. What I look like is not God's highest priority I think.  I would like to be God and look at my own heart.  Morals and character are what a person either has or don't have it.  I just don't think that God will love me less regardless of my size.  However, I think that God wants me to not be self-conscious and exhibit a lack of self-control.  Those things are what I need to work on.  I believe that I am not the healthiest person but that is my goal.  As long as I don't engage in eating that is moderate and promoting healthy eating, then I believe that is what matters the most, at least to me.