Saturday, June 3, 2017

From May 22, 2017

Pouring my heart out on this particular forum entry...

Father,

I usually don't write prayers on this journal.  However, I felt it necessary to write one today.  I realize that I need to make changes to my diet and exercise regimen.  To be honest with You, I don't have a regimen.  I don't wish to remain the way that I am.  Losing weight is hard.  I  have a feeling that I am making it harder on myself.  I want to be healthy and not complain.  I want to not to just exercise, but to push through the exercise.  There are times when I don't wish to exercise, no matter how many pairs of shoes I have, how many track suits I have, or the amount of motivation I have.  I have considered myself lazy.  I don't believe that calling myself lazy and even not caring have made things worse, at least in my psyche.  The truth is, I don't really know where to begin.  I also know that I need to eat healthier; I need to make some changes in that area as well.

 Grant me patience and wisdom.  Make me wise as far as how to lose weight and grant me the patience to not give up, no matter how hard it will be.  My goal is that no longer how hard it is and will be, I will not JUST push through it, I will actually follow it.  I do procrastinate, I admit, but I do want to get healthy and be healthy.  I no longer want to stay stuck in the past as far as my mindset goes.  I ask for a change of perspective when it comes to how I really see myself.  I often don't see myself in a positive light and I would also like to.  I have become more self-conscious over the years.  I have also become less healthy over the years as well.

I would like for nothing more to actually see myself as I truly am, and most of all, how You truly see me.  That may be the hardest thing to accomplish, seeing myself.  I constantly see a reflection and I am not happy with what I see; I want to change that.  I need help.  I need assistance.  I just don't know what to do and where to begin.  Over the years, I have made so many plans I have ended up not following them.  I would also like to think outside of the box and also be consistent, but that is hard to do.  Lord, guide me and help me see the truth about myself and about all else.  I thank You in advance for giving me the opportunity to write out this request to You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

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