Making a change for me

I haven't exercised for the past two days.  Well, I haven't done any exercise since Wednesday.  I have learned that especially as an overweight diabetic, that I cannot out-exercise a bad diet.  I have decided to make changes to my eating habits.  It will not be easy.  I am not of a healthy weight and nearly all of my health problems stem from my being overweight.  For years, I felt that being overweight, or rather, obese was something to be ashamed of.  I don't have a healthy relationship with food nor do I have a healthy relationship with myself.

I have struggled seeing myself as beautiful in the physical sense.  I am seen as a beautiful person with a beautiful personality.  Uh oh.  That means to me that I am not beautiful; it is not a complement.  It is not meant to be insulting, but that is how I come across.  It is sort of like the view that I have a beautiful face, but I need to lose weight.    That means that sometimes it would be nice for others to walk a mile in my shoes.  However, I wonder if that will be the case.  Anyways, I am writing about weight, exercise, and diet.  I do care what others think and I realize that if I overcome that and the guilt that I have.  I think it is time for me to just get over it and to just do something about it, such as learning to see me as beautiful and that yes, I am worthy, and beautiful, fat, or thin.