Monday, August 17, 2015

Giving up. Need some help and advice.

8/1/15                                       294.8 lbs.
8/5/15                                       301.2 lbs
8/9/15                                       303.0 lbs.
8/12/15                                     299.8 lbs.

Current Weight: 299.80 lbs.
Overall Goal: 240.0 lbs.
Time it will take : June 11, 2015 - June 25, 2016  (1 year)
Calorie goal: 1200-1800 calories per day

I did not exercise today.  However, I wish I did.  I have to see how beneficial exercise has been to me. Right now, I feel like giving up.  I eat foods that are not good for me.  I tend to consume over 3000 as of late sometimes using the excuse that my blood sugar levels drop.  It does happen, but does it happen in all cases?I have no excuse to not "get back in the game".  I need to make a daily plan for exercise like I do for the diet plan.  I feel like I have gone back and not forward.  I have made one step forward, two steps back

Above is the reflection from yesterday.  Since this past weekend, I have given up on myself.  At first losing weight was much easier.  I could overcome my fears and doubts.  I am now struggling because the fears and doubts have come true.  I have not exercised.  I have given up.  I have not eaten healthy.  I have procrastinated.  I am stumped.  I don't know what to do.  I feel like though I have a nutritionist at hand, I am still struggling.  I am worried that I am not on making any progress.  It is I have a week to do so.  My appointment is next week and I don't wish to make any progress.  My goal is to weight 120 pounds.  I have stomach that I wish was flatter.  My thighs rub together.  I am also suffering from numerous health problems including mental and physical problems,  and I am hormonal.  I have allowed my hormones to get the best of me.  I am struggling and I am in need of support and a true friend who is going through the same thing.  I need to be held accountable.  I realize that I cannot do this alone and it has been hard for me.  However, I wonder if I am making this hard.  I never had to deal with so many health problems before.  I have also procrastinated.  Maybe a plan would do me some good.